Thursday, March 16, 2006

Rainbows & Unicorns

Just got back from a pretty rockem sockem weekend down in "Hot-lanta", that's Atlanta for those not in the know. Saw one of Brions favorite bands "say hi to your mom" at a pretty kickin club called the Drunken Unicorn. We actually spent a long weekend just chillin out, hanging with some buddies of ours down there in one of those rice burner car clubs. Stayed at the ol' Amberley Suite Hotel which is actually in Norcross (where our buddies live), but that's basically the same as Atlanta it's so close. The first day we spent at some local car show-off event, but the next day was pretty cool, we actually did this awesome rock climbing gig which was a total rush, although Wiz slipped and nearly broke his ankle while rapelling at one point, but it was all good. The night of the show was hip happenin' baby, cool club, lotsa drinks, and some pretty hot hotties all around, after a rollicking time at the Unicorn we chatted with the band while they hung around and were finally ready to leave. Unfortunately we were all pretty smashzored and couldn't really drive anywhere, not to mention we had no more cash for a cab, so we called one of our sportz car homies to give us lift. It was a pretty tight fit with me, BrI Robot, and Wiz (Chuckles had to work in case you're missing him) and Sandy (he's the driver, and hispanic, that's why he has a funny name). You see his car was heavily modded with not just engine upgrades to make it whine like a lawnmower, but the requisite giant subs taking up most of the limited back seat he barely had to start with. Well after much finageling we finally got situated with Wiz in the back and Bry basically sitting on my lap in the passenger seat. About halfway back to the hotel Sandy gets a challenge at a redlight from a fellow road jocky and he decides to tear down the road at some ungodly speed weaving in and about the crazy Atlanta highways. Through the combination of a big sloppy breakfast, all the rockin' and drinkin' at the club and Bryins weight on my gut I lost it and spewed forth a rainbow stream of hurl (mostly out the window) that would make kids think it was time for lucky charms. At least the Sand Man was in the lead and most of my chunk hit his rivals windshield. Ahh good times, well, we'll be off to Protest time here soon so you may not get an update for awhile, but I'll try to check in here when I get the chance..later posers pEEze audi yoy!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Don't Look Now!

I noticed the Wiz was regalling ya'll with a story about San Diego and our punching game, what he failed to mention was what happened on the rest of the trip after that hotel kicked us out. Now he probably won't like me filling everyone in on the good stuff that followed but here it is. We found another hotel not far from there called the Western Inn Old Town, it was nicer than the last place, and we decided to play it safe and not play our game again in town, since the hotel owner of the last place called around I had to check us in with my info while the crew hung out in the vehicle. Soon we were comfy cozy and wired from all the excitement so we decided to hit up some bars get our relaxation medicine we likes so much. Well after a few duds we finally landed at a place called Moose's Gaslamp. They had a pretty kickin' DJ and some pretty hot hotties around and sure enough Wiz found one he liked (tall athletic build, looked like a vollyball player) and was workin' his mojo. Bry and Charo were playing it cool at the bar buying some beverages for the cute girls and making fun of fatties, Brine can be so mean sometimes. I was actually talking to an attractive bartendress and turns out she knew the chicca Wiz was talking to and told me a little secret about her. Well as soon as I heard I ran out to find Mr. Wizard, but it was too late, the fellas said he left with that girl so off we went, the bartendress gave us the address of the mystery lady but we got there just as Wiz was coming out, turns out the "lady" was nothing of the sort, but a local drag queen that sometimes performs at the club, as Wiz was coming out of the door he had a far off stare in his eyes and we couldn't tell if his face was red from anger or from crying. We went back to the hotel without speaking that night, but the next day was open season on jokes and man did we lay em on heavy. I think it took about a week before he would speak to us again, but afterwards we all had a good laugh, although he refuses to tell us at what point he realized his hook up was a dude.......

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Fight the Power!

ah yes...spring is just around the corner and for the crew and I that can only mean one thing...government protest weekend. You see every year for the past 5 years we all get together for a trip to D.C. and protest something outside the Whitehouse. Since we all have rather eclectic political views each year we rotate and agree to all stand behind the chosen issue, (agree or not) and do a weekend protest. Lets us keep the prez and his crew on their toes. Wizzy Wig booked us at our usual D.C. hotel the Days Inn Connecticut Avenue in Washington, D.C. . It's a pretty nice hotel but mostly it's close to all the locals we like to use to spread our messages to the world. Plus the have a really great Italian restaurant that we all like ( they'll even special prepare an all vegan meal for Bry). Well It's still up in the air right now but it's Chuck Deez turn to pick and he has two choices to narrow down before go time. If you have any advice feel free to give a comment to help us out. I prefer the End Perfluorocarbon Breathing Research cause, but kuhC feels just as strongly about elderly nudity so we'll see. All I know is chicks dig protesters, although sometimes those chicks are butt ugly femenist but hey, we ain't picky. Well I have to go do some research on Liquid Breathing and Old People, I hate to be uniformed on a subject I'm an advocating. Later Yo, Piece Oats!!

Friday, February 17, 2006

The San Francisco Treat

I loves me some san fran! I mean everything is so cool over there. I remember a trip that just me and Bry Baby took one time for some kind of vegan expo, he swore he would show me some meals that would convert me. Since we don't have as much cashola as old Cheeze WhiZ, we decided to go with more affordable hotel arrangements. I check out a few of the travelocity sites and found a nice place right in the heart of things near Union Square. It was the Beresford Arms, pretty swank with all the usual amenities and nice beds, it made me think that maybe sometimes Wiz is wasting money with some of the places he books for us, but then I think "F" it, he's a rich lucky bastard and I hate just kidding we all love his money...I mean company. Anyway, Big Daddy Brian had been to San Fran before with some gay buddies of his from the Veggie lovers society back in college, and assured me there was tons of stuff to do. And man was there, we scoped out tons of museums, hit the symphony one night, and even hit a few of the local bars and jazz joints. The worst thing is there seems to be a lot of homosexuals, which I'm totally cool with, except that meant no ladies interested in me. I decided to make the best of it though and spent my time enjoying the more cultural and artistic aspects of the trip. All in all I would highly suggest everyone head over there at least once, lots to do and see, oh and the veg-all convention was a wash, that stuff taste like crap!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The wheels on the bus...

I was scoping out the winter olympics last night and was reminded of a trip I took one time without the rest of my travelin' crew. It was just me and my little nephew Henry, who is what my sister calls "mentally challenged" but I call retarded. He's a good kid though about 13 but on a 4 yr old level, and he really wanted to be in the special olympics but never did pass the qualifiers. Those little retarded olympians get hardcore let me tell you. Any way she was up in the Big Apple visiting so I told her I'd take him to visit Canada for an overnight trip and give her a break, besides I figured chicks dig the guy with a kid deal. So I scoped the local traval guides and found a kid friendly joint called the Wheels Inn. This place was pretty damned cool, huge waterslides, indoor theme park, the whole nine yards, it was like a mini amusement park at the hotel. Hank had a ball, I don't get to go on a lot of trips with just him and it was great seeing him have such a good time.....until he crapped himself! I found out after the fact that if he gets really preoccupied with something he sort of just ignores the urge to use the john. I don't ever in my life want to clean someone elses pooper as long as I live, I can't imagine how my sister does it. Being a kid theme hotel my first though was to get one of the single moms to help out. Well when they find out your little guy is a retarded teenager they aren't too helpful anymore, it's saddens me to see how biased people are to the retards these days. finally one nice lady agreed to help, she was actually their with a youth group as a supervisor and explained that she had some experience helping with disabled people. Things were fine until I found out during the "changing" that Henry is sensative about his chocalate starfish being touched. Suddenly "Pow, right in the kisser!" he backhanded her right in the face, needless to say it got to be a little messy, and she bolted without looking back. I took him to the indoor pool and let him go for a little skinny dip and clean himself off, then we grabbed some grub. All in all it was actually a fun trip, and I would heartily recommend that hotel to anyone with nephews or nieces, or their own kids too I guess. Pees Oud y0!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Supa Dupa Bowl!

I had to take a business trip to Jacksonville Fl. recently which made me think back to Super Bowl XXXIX , last year in 2005. Now as I recall Big Daddy Bry swore that J-town was a hotspot metro party town, as he had some reletives that lived there, and assured us we would have the "time of our lives". H-Wiz decided to book us a place right on the beach, in usual fashion, which was pretty nice, called the Sea Turtle Inn. It was a little small and crowded but appearantly everyplace in town was just as packed so I guess size didn't matter in this case. The joint was close enough to the beach resaurants, bars and clubs, the only problem was getting a cab to go anywhere, I don't think this towns road system was designed for this much traffic, just to go a few miles down the way took about an hour and a half. Our cabbie was getting so frustrated I thought he was gonna have a heart attack right there in the car. I don't think I've ever heard so many obscenities in all my life, and Up-Chuck nearly pee'd himself laughing so hard at this dudes misery at having to drive us around (he can be so mean-hearted sometimes). Well once we got to the bar we felt so bad we invited the guy along and offered to give him 10 times the fair to take the rest of the night off and chill with us. I think he would have done it for free, we thought he was gonna drive the cab into a local bus at one point and call it quits anyhow. This dude was a party monster, he new the bartenders at every bar we went in, hooked us up with free drinks all night, and later took us to a local "gentalmans club" where Bry-te Eyes finally learned about that thing he saw in that adult movie we saw at his moms 42nd birthday (don't ask). Unfortunately our driver was now so blitzed we had no way to get back to the hotel, not to mention we couldn't even remember how we'd gotten to the club or where the cab was at this point. Luckily a few of the "exotic dancing" girls lived down at the beaches and offered us a ride. It probably would have been a lot cooler than it sounds had any of us stayed awake after getting in the car with them. Although Wiz did get a little something to remember "Kristanya" by, but after about a week his lip finally healed up. The game itself rocked and Chuck-it won about 2 grand in a bet on the game, so needless to say he bought lunch. We were gonna hang out an extra day at the hotel to check out the beach but it turns out it's still pretty chilly (at least by FL standards) so none of the local honeys were out and about. Anyway the trip I took there for my job last month sucked in comparison. But at least the Sea Turtle Inn was as nice as I remembered...

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Scenic Desert Nights

The "Wiz" and I were remeniscing just the other day, going on about some of the travels he's dragged us off on, and I realized that these post probably make us sound like a group of party boys. Well, are for the most part, but I recall a trip we took about a year ago in memory of a friend of ours that passed away at that time. Miguel was a friend of ours for several years and a huge Tiger Woods fan, anytime Wiz would plan a retreat Miggity Mack was always trying to get him to book a golf resort. Well we always thought golf was for wusses so it just never came about. Mig Fighter took a private trip himself down to Hilton Head, S.C. and long story short he never made it past the 14th hole. The reason deserves a post of it's own, but the rest of wanted to honor his memory, so Wiz suprised us with a desert getaway to the Arizona Golf Resort. This place was pretty nice, I'd not spent too much time in that area but the desertscapes were simply breathtaking. The resort had some swank amenities, including it's own golfcourse, where we were going to play a game and spill a 40 on the 14th for Mr Mig-oo. First things first we all arrived for our 9:00 tee time, Bry-berry was decked to the nines in his golf outfit, while Charles in Charge covered the other end of the fashion spectrum with sweatpants and wife beater, Wiz and myself opted for shorts and a t-shirt, the weather was awesome, a little hot, but a "dry heat" as the locals say. After about 8 holes we realized that golf is for wussies cracked out the brewskies and chilled in memory on Miguel, (who I think may have been gay, based on his obsession with Tigers Wood). We split the game early and checked out some of the more adventurous local attractions, we deciced to focus on guy time and blow off chicks all weekend, so the first place we hit up was the utlra macho Desert Voyagers. These guys ride you out in jeeps and to a tour of the terrain complete with river rafting at the end. It was truly a rush. Next was the more soothing Riparian Preserve, where we spent the next day, into the evening doing some hiking, although in the parking lot Chuckee Cheese and I met these two cute Native American Indian chicks, who started telling us all about the preserve and local wildlife, they were college students from North AU who came to do some research for thier enviromental studies class. Well we loves the enviromet so needless to say Chuk and I left the the others and went off to "dance with wolves", if you know what I mean. Not sure what Bry and Wiz did that night, they tried to get us to spill the beans but a gentelman never kisses and tells. Anyway just wanted to relate a memory that lets folks know we're not just a bunch of cool jerks, but that we also have a softer side sometimes...Peez ouD YO!